why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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