whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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