You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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