Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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