the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I looked at my own cervix.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
