Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
