We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
