Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
