Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
