ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i love accidental penises.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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