Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
