College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
