Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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