Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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