We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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