Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
birth control should be required to get into college
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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