so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
