He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
