I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
