He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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