I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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