Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
