I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
