i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
