Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
