dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize