I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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