i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
