I can text with my tongue
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
