from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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