its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
