They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
