If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
