You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
