so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
