Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
