I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
