I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
