don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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