I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
