Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
