Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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