Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
