The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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