Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
