summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
