I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
