The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she smelled like a LAN party
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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