He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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