I got chris browned last night
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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